Vulnerable: Resilient
As someone who works with vulnerable populations, I’d like to conclude this month of vulnerability by exploring who speaks for the vulnerable. For example, “Voice of the Voiceless” is a collection of St. Oscar Romero’s sermons and writings during his three years as Archbishop of San Salvador. During his prelacy, he began speaking up and against the oppression and violence that plagued El Salvador. A fictional example is Dr. Seuss’s “The Lorax” who speaks for the trees, the Swomee swans, the Humming fish, and the brown barbaloot bears who cannot speak for themselves. The key to speaking for others is knowing the group for whom you are speaking. Knowing – and not assuming that you know – their needs, wants, hopes, and dreams comes from being in relationship together and listening.
The first church that I pastored was Spanish-speaking and many assumptions were made about my congregation. One neighboring, English-speaking, congregation once dropped off boxes of expired vitamins. We threw them out. Another time, a former schoolteacher arrived, unannounced, wanting to do afterschool math tutoring. We declined her offer. Afterschool math tutoring was not a need that any of my parishioners had. Sometimes we think more about what we’re willing to do instead of asking what is actually needed. And, unlike those in the Lorax’s care, these are people who can speak for themselves. Don’t assume what is needed and when you ask, listen to the answer.
Why? Because those who are vulnerable, or feel vulnerable, are more resilient than we tend to realize. I was shocked to look up “vulnerable” and see “resilient” under the antonyms list. Yet when I looked up resilient, the example given illustrated being both resilient and vulnerable at the same time. The first definition for resilient is to be able to recover quickly from difficult situations, as in “babies are generally far more resilient than new parents realize.” On the vulnerable-invulnerable spectrum, babies fall closer to vulnerable. They rely on others to feed them and care for them. They cannot survive on their own. They are resilient and quick to recover, but they are not invulnerable.
Invulnerable is not the same thing as being resilient. Resiliency includes resourcefulness, in that you draw on resources, old and new, known and unknown, to overcome a challenge. It does not mean that you are not vulnerable. It does not mean that you can’t be hurt. It means you press through; you persevere, even if vulnerable. It’s risky. There is no guarantee for what the other side of the experience will look like. Moreover, if the going is particularly tough, it is possible that you will run out of resources. Or, you will have to go looking for additional resources from new sources. Or, if possible, you will have to remove yourself from whatever situation is depleting your reserves.
One analogy is being elastic like a rubber band. You can stretch it, and it will bounce back. Over time, however, it gradually loses its shape. Or, more accurately, its shape changes. The rubber band still has a shape, but a different one than its original form. Furthermore, if you stretch a rubber band too far, or let it dry out, it will snap and break. Stretching is the stressor or difficult situation, while the resiliency is the rubber band returning to its unstretched form, with a little wear and tear. The vulnerability is that it can be stretched out in the first place. There is no promise of what the shape will look like afterward; only that there will be a shape. It’s not invulnerability.
We are changed by our experiences, for better or worse. There is always at least a little wear and tear. Yet we can show resiliency even while vulnerable. Vulnerability does not have the last word.
* https://www.google.com/search?channel=fen&client=firefox-b-1-d&q=resilient+definition