1 Kings 19:1-16
This passage from 1 Kings is familiar to many of us. We know about God not being in the wind or the fire or the earthquake, but instead in the still, small voice. Those of us raised in the church know that we’re supposed to listen for the still, small voice of God, the voice that isn’t always self-evident or easy to hear, the voice that you have to pay attention to hear. However, today, I’d like to focus on what comes before and what comes after that meeting of Elijah and God on Mount Horeb. Did you catch why Elijah is on Mount Horeb? Why did he run for forty days and forty nights to get there? And did you hear God’s instruction to him in that still, small voice? Did you catch what the still, small voice said?
First, let’s set the context. Elijah is a prophet in Israel. He’s one of the most well-known prophets, especially for not having a book in the bible named after him. Elijah is a powerful prophet who performs lots of miracles. The dead are raised. Oil and flour, the ingredients for making bread and sustaining life, don’t run out. Elijah is bold and he speaks truth to power, in his case, speaking truth to the King and Queen of Israel, Ahab and Jezebel. Naturally, they don’t appreciate it. In the first recorded conversation between Elijah and Ahab, the chapter before the one we read, Ahab calls Elijah, “the troubler of Israel.” Elijah replies, “I have not made trouble for Israel. But you and your father’s family have. You have abandoned the Lord’s commands and have followed other gods. Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah,” the prophets of those other gods that Elijah was referring to.
You see, Elijah is grieving, and he has become angry in his grief. He says, “I am the only one of the Lord’s prophets left.” The only one left. Elijah is grieving. He’s lost all of his comrades. One of the stages of grief is anger. Sometimes we get angry at things that have happened. Sometime we get angry with ourselves for not preventing it because we think we should have. If only… I had gotten there sooner. If only… I had spoken up. Still, other times, we get angry at what caused our loss and grief, and that is the focus of Elijah’s anger. All the rest of his colleagues were killed; he’s the only one left and he wants revenge. So, he challenges Ahab to bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah; Elijah dares them to a showdown. And, Elijah blows them out of the water. God shows up and shows out and those other gods do nothing. You can read about it in 1 Kings 18, the chapter before the one we read today. Then, once Elijah has proved that the Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of Israel, is more powerful, when all the people who witness this showdown repent and turn to God, then Elijah rounds up all of the prophets of Baal and Asherah and has them killed. In his anger over his grief, Elijah has his revenge.
Then comes the passage we read this morning, which begins with Queen Jezebel’s threat to kill Elijah: “May the gods strike me dead if by this time tomorrow I don’t do the same thing to you that you did to the prophets.” It’s quite the death threat. Even though God has just proved that God is indeed the Lord, the God of Israel, Elijah is terrified by Jezebel’s threat and runs for his life. He runs into the wilderness and just completely despairs, praying to God to take his life. Elijah has entered the depression stage of grief, and like many folks with depression, he sleeps a lot. Twice an angel wakes him to make him eat and drink to make sure that he has strength for the journey ahead, because he’s not staying where he is. After food and rest, Elijah gets up and travels to Mount Horeb. That’s all of what has happened before Elijah hears the still, small voice of God. He has gone through grief. He has gone through anger. He has gone through depression. He has gone through retaliation. He has gone through despair. And now here he is, in a cave on what is known as God’s mountain. Now comes the infamous conversation.
Elijah has regained some of his strength and composure and now he’s ready to talk to God. God begins by asking him, “Whatcha doing here, Elijah? You know, you’re a month’s journey from where you’re supposed to be ministering, despairing for your life, and after I just proved myself dramatically against the false prophets of Baal. Why are you worried about Jezebel’s little threat?” Elijah tells God, “I’ve been very zealous and passionate for your cause, God, I gave it my all, and they killed all your other prophets. I’m the only one left and now they’re coming after me, too. I’m worn out and at the end of my rope. I’ve got nothing left in the tank.”
God responds by telling Elijah to go stand on the mountain, get out of the cave and go outside, because God is about to pass by. First Elijah feels the gust of a strong wind, strong enough to knock him off his feet, but God’s not in the wind. Then Elijah feels the ground shake under his feet in an earthquake, but God’s not in the earthquake. Then Elijah feels the heat of a fire, but God’s not in the fire. Then, there’s a very quiet sound, a still, small voice, also called a gentle and quiet whisper, the sound of sheer silence. When Elijah hears that sound, he covers his face and goes farther out to stand before God. Again, God asks him, “Why are you here, Elijah?” and you can hear the tender gentleness in God’s voice. And again Elijah replies, “I’ve been very passionately serving you, God. They killed all your other prophets. I’m the only one left and now they’re trying to kill me, too,” and you can hear the grief and despair in Elijah’s voice. It reminds me of Psalm 42, “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God…My tears have been my food day and night… These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I went with the throng, and led them in procession to the house of God… My soul is cast down within me; therefore, I remember you from the land of the Jordan River and of Mount Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the thunder of your waterfalls; all your waves and your billows have washed over me.” God hears this lament, and then gently tells Elijah, “Go back. I have a new companion for you so you’re not alone. And I have new work for both of you to do.”
Now, I want to comment here that it’s important to take time to grieve, like Elijah did. There is a time to keep quiet and to lie low. There is a time to seek refuge. There is a time to mourn and lament and grieve. It is a healthy way to deal with suffering and pain. There are times we need to go to places of shelter, places we know we’re safe, places where we know we’re completely loved. These are good coping strategies. Elijah did all right taking time for himself. He hadn’t yet mourned and grieved for his fellow prophets. This time of sleeping and eating and traveling and talking with God on the mountain gave him the space to do that. With a loss like that, you’re got to take the time to grieve.
If you don’t, it’s going to come out sideways. When you’re feeling such strong emotions and suffering, you have to take the time for yourself to start healing before you go back out in the world again. Otherwise those emotions and that pain is going to bubble up or even burst out at inopportune times and it may be inappropriate, it may permanently ruin a relationship, it may make you bitter and unhappy, if there’s grief you haven’t acknowledged and worked through yet. And those “stages of grief” aren’t necessarily linear and you don’t necessarily go through them in a precise order or cross them off after you’re done with one. Here with Elijah we see guilt and anger and depression. And after taking this time apart at Mount Horeb, he moves on to acceptance and hope and meaning making. Elijah goes back. He follows God’s instruction to go back, to anoint two new kings, and to meet a helper, so that he is not alone. So, he goes back, but he’s different, he’s not who he was before.
Do you know who else God tells to go back? St. Patrick. No cap, as kids say these days. Patrick lived in the fifth century, born in Britain and grew up there. When he was about sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish pirates and taken to Ireland where he was enslaved. He was held captive for six years, working as a shepherd and strengthening his relationship with God through prayer. Then, as he wrote in his autobiography, he heard a voice telling him that he would soon go home and that his ship was ready. Patrick believed the voice, ran away from his master, made his way to a port, and talked a ship captain into letting him on board. The ship returned him back to Britain and from there he traveled by foot back to his home. However, Patrick continued to study Christianity, officially converted at some point, and then became a priest and, eventually, a bishop. Then, he is sent back to Ireland! Can you imagine the trepidation he must have felt and his level of trust in God when he stepped foot on Irish soil again? I imagine him repeating a prayer that goes something like, “Ok, God, here I am. Please keep me safe. I trust you and you called me here.”
Just like Elijah, Patrick is sent back to a place where he feared for his life. Just like Elijah, he is sent back to a place where he may be triggered by certain smells or sounds or sights. Both Elijah and Patrick went through traumatic events and escaped them to a different geographic location. And then God sends them back. In Elijah’s case, he picked up a helper, Elisha, who became his successor. In Patrick’s case, he returned with a more mature faith and the stamp of approval from the Catholic Church. People know where he is this time, as opposed to when he was kidnapped. God does not always call us to go back to the geographic location where we were wounded, where we experienced hurt and pain and grief. Sometimes, God does. God did for Elijah and for St. Patrick. Yet they’re not the same when they go back. They’ve changed and grown in their faith and their relationship with God. Elijah is no longer alone. He is sent back with a companion for the journey. I’d like to close this morning with the prayer of St. Patrick:
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every [person] who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every [person] who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.
So good. I knew Elijah's story but not St. Patrick's!