Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Esteem Needs
Just as Maslow articulated two levels of basic needs (physiological and safety), he also labeled two levels of psychological needs, love and belonging, which we covered last week, and esteem. Esteem needs involve the need for self-respect and respect from others. This need moves beyond belonging to valuing and being valued and recognized for your contribution.
Some folks are more “behind the scenes” and do not want the spotlight that achievement can bring. They’re satisfied with just seeing their name get public recognition. They do not want to be called out in front of the camera; they know they did a good job and are satisfied with a job well done. Others greatly appreciate public acknowledgement of their contribution because they may question whether it was valuable or not. They may have a history of having their work be ignored or taken for granted.
When our esteem need for respect from others is not met, it tends to cause us to question our own self-respect. When we don’t receive outside affirmation, it can become hard for us to affirm ourselves. Conversely, when we start off questioning ourselves and our worth, it may be hard for us to believe when others express their appreciation. We take our cues from others to determine the value of our accomplishments. When we take someone’s contributions for granted, that person may become disillusioned and devalue their actions.
It’s easy to say that others’ opinions of us shouldn’t matter; except they do. When all we hear are negative messages, it’s hard not to internalize some of them to some extent no matter how high our self-confidence is. We need to hear positive and affirming messages. It’s good for our self-esteem.
We also intrinsically build up our self-respect. We can take pride in a job well done. We can know that we’ve made a difference. We can feel confident in our abilities and be proud of our accomplishments. We are God’s beloved children and were made “very good.” We were imbued with sacred worth, simply because we are God’s.
The wrinkle is that no matter how much internal self-respect we have, external negative messages will gradually wear us down. That’s why we need both internal and external sources of encouragement. Who can you encourage today?