Imagine Advent Differently: Love

Advent 2024

We are approaching the fourth Sunday of Advent, traditionally marked by a theme of love. How can we imagine love differently? What is there left to be said after Valentine’s Day, Hallmark, the wedding industry, and the infamous Bible passage of 1 Corinthians 13? Some may state that any of those say all that there is to be said.

So, let’s approach love differently, then, from the side of hospitality. Hospitality is the kindness, friendliness, and cordiality of one person to another. This season is often marked by an intentional hospitality as we host and attend holiday parties and gatherings, participate in gift exchanges, and decorate our space for the holidays. Yet even when we do not host, we often still put up holiday decor. Why? Why decorate when no one else will see it? Because you will see it. You are being cordial and kind to yourself. You are worth decorating for, to prepare the space for yourself. Hospitality isn’t just for another person; hospitality is also for ourselves. We create and prepare the space with goodwill and friendliness for ourselves.

Have you ever not been hospitable toward yourself? Denied yourself something because it was “just” you? Didn’t decorate, didn’t get the treat, didn’t dress up. There are often services that we wouldn’t hesitate to provide for another that we think we by ourselves are not worthy of. Two years ago, in the first Advent season on this Substack, I wrote about holy spaces. What about the space you make for yourself? Do you make space for yourself? I had so completely internalized the middle-class American white woman idea to not take up more room than absolutely necessary that I once had a chaplain colleague tell me, “Heather, we’re here to take up space.” It’s okay to take up space. Don’t be afraid to take up space, and, while it may be the polite thing to do, you don’t need to apologize for taking up space. We have bodies. Bodies take up space. We are here to take up room on this planet. Let us offer hospitality and love to ourselves to let our bodies take up the space they need, without trying to minimize them and fit into less space. After all, Advent is all about hospitality, creating space for celebrations and for Christmas. It’s giving gifts and offering hospitality out of love.

In seminary, I had a professor who commented on the irony of complaining that Christmas was materialistic when that was the whole point – God becoming incarnate, becoming material, taking up physical space here among us. Christmas isn’t the trimmings that are trappings (to paraphrase Dr. Seuss), but the trimmings are the physical signs of our love for one another to create a welcoming space. Such a space, hopefully, welcomes all of you. Ideally, it’s a space where your body can relax, take up the room it needs, and not silence parts of yourself. Let us show love to ourselves and to others this Advent and Christmas by allowing ourselves and others to take up the space they need to be seen, feel safe, and feel loved.